I’m not really a birthday person, I never have been, at least after 21 anyway. But the number 40, well, I really haven’t been looking forward to that number. I didn’t look forward to my 30th birthday either so it doesn’t surprise me that turning 40 would be my next “scary” age.
There’s nothing to actually be afraid of at 40, I know that. Forty is the new 20 isn’t that what they say? But I think I expected my life to be further along at 40.
I made a list in my 20’s, and I learned lessons. I set goals for hitting 30, but didn’t surpass them. I didn’t really plan for 40, but now that I’m here I can see my future.
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20 Lessons
In my 20’s, as I was about to graduate from college I wrote a list of all of the things I wanted to accomplish in my 20’s.
- Work as a journalist and make tons of money
- Get married
- Buy a big house
- Have several dogs
- Continue going out with friends and have fun partying, don’t be boring
The original list had at least 15 more points on it. This is what I can remember from the original list because thankfully, I lost the list. The only thing I accomplished on this unrealistic life list was continuing to party with friends, and I was most certainly not boring. We had fun and have great stories to remember!
Having a job that paid above the poverty level didn’t happen until about 29. I was single, and not taking dating seriously. I was living at home with my parents and hating it, but nowhere near able to buy a shack in the woods, let alone a big house. Living at home did allow me to still be around our family dog though so that was like a half check off the list.
But as I got closer to 30, I felt my goals and wants in life changing. I didn’t realize it at the time. But I think one of the many factors as to why I wasn’t checking anything off the list was because I didn’t want it yet. I was having fun and that was most important to me at that time. My 20’s were about fun and I don’t regret any of that fun. Well, maybe that one realllllly bad hangover, the one I say was the worst hangover of my entire life. But it followed the craziest and best party night of my life too. So can I even say I regret the hangover?!
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Hierve el Agua in Oaxaca, Mexico.
30 Goals
As I approached 30, I was still living in my childhood bedroom at my parent’s house and my goal was to move out by the time I was 30. I achieved that goal, barely! I finally had a good-paying job (and by “good” I mean average and above the poverty level), and was able to find the exact type of apartment I wanted, in the exact location. I felt I had finally, at 30, become an adult.
An adult who still enjoyed a good time, of course! My college friends and I had also set a goal that we would all take a trip to Vegas together, the year we all turned 30. We achieved that goal and ended our 20’s living the high life (or at least pretending to) in Las Vegas. It was a great trip and one that I don’t think we could ever replicate. We didn’t know it at the time, but that trip symbolized us all moving out of our carefree days and into adulting.
My 30’s were full of ambition and feeling like I had finally made it (more than once). But they were also filled with being knocked down repeatedly and having to restart. I was laid off from the average-paying job that got me my apartment and struggled for a year and a half to find my next job. I truly felt I had made it again when I finally landed my dream travel editor job, with a salary to match. Only to have that ripped away from me in a pandemic lay off.
I had set goals for myself for hitting 30. I achieved those goals and thought that was it, I had made it, so I didn’t plan for what was next.
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40 Plans
So here I am at 40 living in that same apartment from 10 years ago, unemployed, but building a business, no 40th year trip planned with friends, no husband, no dog, and likely less money in my bank account than I had at 30.
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I had no goals set for 40. I think like most people in the pandemic for the last few years I’ve been languishing and not really thinking too far into the future. We quickly learned plans were being canceled constantly, so as a planner I stopped planning. I wasn’t thinking about what I could accomplish by 40. I was just living as best I could each day.
But now as I turn 40, I can’t stop looking toward the future. My plans for this decade have no limits.
I want to think of 40 as my rebirth year. I realize it sounds cliche and it makes me want to vomit as well to even say this, but, new decade, new me 🙂 We can collectively roll our eyes together at the corniness of that statement, but it’s true! And it’s already happening!
Forty is the year and the decade I build my coaching business to success. Forty is the decade that abundance fills my life and my bank account. Forty is the year of impact on both myself and my clients. I learned lessons in my 20’s (with more to come, I know). I set and achieved goals in my 30’s. But it’s 40 that will see the change.
I have big plans for 40. It’s the decade of seeing those plans transform into success.
Forty is the decade of transformation.
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